Dumbarton

It's the elite of dumb, or rather alumnus, which some consider the perfection of stupidity, to surpass what some only refer to as 'full retard'. To become a Dumbarton, you must throw away any concept of brain activity, even having the ability to read this sentence makes you exempt from reaching the status of Dumbarton. Once anointed as a Dumbarton you become part of a brotherhood, with the benefits of; no responsibility for one's self or decision making skills, a secured spot on the autism spectrum, never hindered to ever utilize a toilet, and the mutant ability to have all your mistakes be considered accidents by all of law enforcement and society.

If not born a Dumbarton, you must be a graduate from the school. The entry level education accepts head trauma or severe drug overdoses, but not limited to those who were home schooled. It is possible to fake being a Dumbarton, but once done you cannot break character, in which our alumni with retard strength are assigned to beat you in public, similar to gangs, until you reach the proper amount of brain damage to correct your flaws of not being an authentic Dumbarton.

While we respect other organizations such as; The Church of Scientology, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and The Westboro Baptist Church, we do not associate with them. They're religious groups, so don't be a Dumbarton and assume we have anything to do with that shit.

Dumbarton Professor: "What's the first rule of being a Dumbarton?"
Recruit: "Uhh..."
Dumbarton Professor: "You've got potential kid!"

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