Somebody who isn't YOU.
"You see that dude over there? He graduated from harvard with a PHDTV in quantum physiology or something but he's still a retard because he doesn't have as much girls as I do."
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Something that men like to slap to assert their control over women(Hah!). It is usually located in the backside, right on top of the thighs and calves. If yours are large, round, and firm, then you are in for a painful life.
Chick 1: I need to make my butt smaller.
Chick 2: Why?
Chick 3: Because if it keeps getting slapped, then it will fall off.
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Basically what you would write if you were forced to describe Michael Moore while drunk/high.
"OOh, look at me, I'm Michael Moore, and I am so PHAT!"
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