soccer mom

Usually refers to a white middle aged female. She is either divorced or quickly on her way to being divorced because no self respecting man will put up with her very long. She realizes that although she tries desperately to be everything from super house wife and super mother to super business exec- that she can do none of these things good so she needs a man.... but can't keep one. She is usually on the prowl for a new fake dad to help raise her brood of children from all of her failed relationships with men who have kicked her to the curb.

She usually self medicates herself, trying to drown out her soul calling her a failed prostitute as she shuttles her tribe of bastard children from activity to activity in a minnie van or SUV that is entirely to big for her to drive safely. Said vehicle may or may not be financed by a current or former significant other (victim), just as is her crumbling lifestyle which constantly reminds her that her time is running out.

She tries to dress and act like women half her age but can't quite pull that look off anymore. But does it anyway and looks foolish except when in a pack of others like her.

Many of this ilk often end up cold and alone. Even their plethora of fatherless offspring usually leave them in search of sanity and the promise of normalcy.

Man at a bar says to another- "Sorry I'm late bro. Some man hunting fat assed soccer mom with a bunch of kids in aS.M.A.Vcrashed me on the way over. What a dumb cunt".

39👍 11👎