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Random
When you ring a friend on his cell phone, he sees it is you and rejects the call
"Man, I rang Brad and it cut off after two rings. He's totally wagged me."
"Dude, I can't believe you wagged me last night. I thought you had more respect."
2π 4π
When a friend of acquaintance adds an inexplicable surcharge to a casual financial transaction - which you strongly suspect him of pocketing.
"The ticket for the gig said $45 but he hirstied it to $50. He mumbled something about booking charges. "
First Bro: "I gave Dave $20 to get us four coffees. He only gave me $4 change."
Second Bro: "Man, he has totally hirstied you."
Where a normal driver gets confused as to precisley where his satnav is telling him to turn. As a result he slows down to a crawl, thus adopting the driving approach of a person who wears a hat to drive. Which fucks off those people following him beyond belief.
Driver: fuck, where does it mean to go left. Is it here or that road just along there?
Driver's chick: Whatever, get a move on you hat
Driver: Shit, sorry, bit of a hatnav
Driver following slow car: For fucks sake; make your fucking mind up you cunt. What? You going to turn into a field you fucking idiot!!! Fucking hatnav again!
When a dude settles for a chick several leagues below what he could have attained.
Person 1: "Man, Jake is ripped and pretty hot. What is he doing with that Hobag?"
Person 2: "He has totally Federered"
"I really need to have sex tonight. I'll play it safe in the club and go for a Federer"
4π 21π
An unintentional double entendre or other faux pas with more than a suggestion of paedophilia
Greg: Now Karl has come out, I'm glad I never asked him to coach the under 8s soccer
Brad: Yeah. He would not have fitted in.
Greg: Dude! That is disgusting
Brad: Oops. Savilian slip!
Mike: Hey. Look at that chick over there. Man she is hot. I'm a gonna get me a piece of that ass
Bill: Fuck man you are so uncool. That's DeAndre's daughter. She is like 15.
Mike: Hmm Savilian slip...
A taunt used to try and goad a sensible dude into an act of crass stupidity by suggesting his attitude is dull and straightlaced. Usually repeated ad nauseam in a high pitched shriek to try and wear the victim down.
Idiotic Dude: I've pissed in this glass, drunk it, then hurled back into the same glass. Down that!
Normal person: Fuck off
Idiotic Dude: Citizen! Mr Citizen! Won't drink my piss-chunder? What are you? Get it down you! Mr Citizen! Come on Citizen! Citizen! Mr Citizen! Citizen! Mr Citizen! Citizen! Mr Citizen!
Idiot: I know what woulod round the evening off perfectly. Let's break into the Zoo and fuck us a couple of baboons!
Idiot's friend: Don't be ridiculous, you'll get AIDS
Idiot: Citizen! Mr Citizen! Won't fuck a monkey coz he's scared of getting caught! Mr Citizen! Thinks he's going to get AIDS Citizen! Mr Citizen!Citizen! Mr Citizen!Citizen! Mr Citizen!Citizen! Mr Citizen!
An essentially meaningless phrase used to style out inadvertenly embarrasing confessions. Its cod philosphical style distracts the attention of others involved in the conversation such that they forget what precedd it.
Dude 1: I like carrots
Dude 2: Me too - I love to shoev one up my ass whilst I am finishing myself off
Dude 1: Dude!!!! WTF!!! that is so gay!!!!
Dude 2: Oh, er, different view of life?
Dude 1: Ah I see, interesting...
Chip: I like a nice rack and a firm butt. But I'll be honest, a chick in medieval armour is what really truns me on
Brad: You are disgusting. Get out.
Chip: Hmm. Different view of life?
Brad: You make a compelling point
1π 3π