Doucheberg

Someone who at first meeting shows a little bit of their douche self, but on getting to know them better, the full extent of their doucheness becomes apparent. (Likened to the iceberg that only shows a small fraction of its total size)

Upon seeing a known douchebag coming at him he said in his best captain's voice, "Doucheberg straight ahead!"

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Nessie watch

Being paid good money to do nothing and essentially waste one's life away.

Another term for this is "golden handcuffs".

Man, this job is akin to being paid to sit in a chair and be on the lookout for the loch Ness monster. Hence, Nessie watch.

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