Roast

When you're in a group chat and people are making intense fun of each other.

Please read this in an Australian wild life documentary narrator's voice. *clears throat* The wild ---insert name here---, the whitest living creature on the face of the Earth. Some call her a sub-category of Albino. If you look in her general direction, then you have a chance of being permanently blinded. A walking sun. When she wares white nail polish, it looks dark in comparison. I wanted to create a full length documentary on this human, but my producers wouldn't fund it. She is the human embodiment of the dog filter on snap chat. A stereotypical while girl would define her personality perfectly. Oh no... I think she sees me. Okay, I'm safe. Although she may seem cute, and I would agree, the people who she hangs out with are... interesting. I'm just going to leave it at that. She is constantly on her phone, in social media and texting her friends. She is no nerd, rather a popular white girl who poisons those around her. If you ever see her, walk the other direction while you still have your vision. I waisted about 40 minutes writing this, so I am clearly the one who got roasted. Signing off, Joseph the Ausy, goo'day mate.

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Glovefish

The rare species of fish that can only be found on paper handed to you by your weird friend.

Hey dude, my weird friend just handed me a glovefish. I don't know what what to do about it.