Jacob

A Jacob is someone who faps to a Covergirl commercial, Ellen, Opera, and anyone's mom. Beware, Jacobs have been known to prey on children and teenagers.

Girl 1: You remember Jake?
Girl 2: Ya, he dated me just to get close to my mom.
Girl 1: He's so weird. He's such a Jacob.

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Shit through a strainer

An extremely runny, liquidy shit or series of shits that could completely pass through a strainer; diarrhea.

I could eat that all day, but does it ever make me shit through a strainer.