Mockdown

A half heated attempt to apply restrictions and rules to control the spread of Covid-19 (Coronavirus) Either applied too late, not strictly enough or too confusing, contradictory or involving some kind of tier system that no one fully understands.

Also see

1. ‘Shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted’

2. ‘Couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery’

This is one crazy mockdown! You must stay home but you go out, don’t go to work unless it’s necessary, see family but don’t see family, The virus is spreading fast, but kids off you trot to School!

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The Isolation Room Show

The Isolation Room Show
The show you didn’t ask for with a host you’ve never heard of and opinions you frankly couldn’t care less about.

Them: Did you see the Isolation Room Show last night?

You: NO!

hancock tears

When you pretend to cry to distract people from recognising what a grade one bell-end your are. Hoping your tears will somehow make you appear human and make you immune to criticism.

You fucked up, it’s your mess, own it, and you can stop those Hancock Tears right now you bell-end!