Turd of Hurdles

A group attempt at moving at the speed of light when in reality the pace is substantially slower than expected.

Depending on their age, a term you use when you're trying to be extra funny, embarrassing or annoying when traveling with your children...aka...Herd of Turtles

And we're off like a turd of hurdles!

Term best used when driving your teenager and their friends to some meaningless place you really don't feel like driving to.