jesus fish

A piece of fish-shaped plastic, usually made in China, designed to stick to the rear of mainly American owned vehicles to demonstrate to the rest of the world that the bearer prefers to ignore irrefutable evidence discovered by the most brilliant minds in science and base their smug, superior public personas on fairy tales and superstition, whilst engaging in closeted guilt-ridden sessions of drug-fuelled sexual deviance and other hypocrisy.

Rev. Ted Haggard, Newt Gingrich, Pat Robertson, God I hate those jesus fish people

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Saint Patrick's Day

An incredibly annoying time when Americans forget that they're American and run around trying desperately to out-Irish each other with needlessly gaudy green clothing exacerbated by their all-too-often overweight frames. This time is made all the worse by the perceived need to drink as much imitation Guiness, vomit on aforementioned green clothing then try to kiss strangers and get punched for your trouble.

"Kiss me, I'm Irish and it's Saint Patrick's Day". "You're still fat and ugly, so the answer's still No".

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