Taint Shelf

The tiny, almost useless, passenger accommodation on most modern sportsbikes. Often referred to as a “pillion”, this small, hard cushion has the effect of bludgeoning the area between the passenger’s genitals and anus throughout the ride. Because of its height relative to the driver and generally awkward seating position, these seats have a reputation for deterring passengers from wanting to ride along. These seats are a characteristic of the split tail style of motorcycles, opposed to the conventional “banana” seat (single piece) design. The prevalence of this pragmatically useless design can be attributed to the greatly improved aesthetics and improved control of the motorcycle while in full tuck, as the driver can scoot back into the shelf to secure themselves from sliding further rearward.

“Dude, do you remember having to ride bitch on my Zx10r?”
“Yeah bra, my ass still huts from that retarded taint shelf…”