Throckmorton

He's your cousin who is suuuuper good at skateboarding. Throcky for short.

Me: Hey, did you see my cousin Throckmorton skateboarding last night bro? He kiiiilled it.

Johnathan (or something I don't remember his name): Please set me free I don't know you or Throcky I just want to go back home I have a family and I really don't like being tethered to your basement wall it's cold and i'm hungry and itchy

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