head like a dropped pie

Australian slang for an unattractive face.

A pie dropped on the ground is an unattractive mess. As is an ugly face.

Bloke 1: Check out the tits on that chick!!! Sonya!
Bloke 2: Yeah, but she's got a head like a dropped pie. I wouldn't fuck her with your dick.

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Two chances

Absolutely no chance. Impossible.

An abbreviation of the common Australian phrase "You've got two chances - Buckley's and none". The full phrase is so well known in Australia that finishing the sentence has become redundant in most circles.

Buckley's chance refers to ALMOST zero chance of success. By dividing Buckley's chance with a second possibility of no chance means, via simple mathematics, that the topic of discussion is impossible.

Red-headed bloke: "Hey Shorty, see that glamour at the bar? I'll take her home tonight and smash her box in".
Tall bloke: "Fuck off Blue. You've got Buckley's chance. You've got a head like a dropped pie".
Red-headed bloke: "C'mon mate. I must be some hope?"
Tall bloke: "Nup. Two chances".

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Sonya

A way to surreptitiously alert your friends to the presence of a woman sporting attractive breasts. A community service to ensure that no male in your immediate vicinity misses out on the impressive spectacle.

The term results from the Australian fascination with abbreviation and heralds from the phrase "Have a look at the titS ON YA".

Male 1: Sonya in the red dress at the bar.
Every male within earshot: Thanks mate.

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