Uncontrollaboner

The hardest of the hard, this boner is relentlessly stiff. Can be onset by Viagra, Cialis, et al. but is more often experienced in morning wood, or generally at times when you really don't need it THAT hard.

Herp: You're walking like an idiot, what's wrong with you?

Derp: Uncontrollaboner. There's nothing I can do.

Herp: I wouldn't say NOTHING...

Derp: Dude, did you just come on to me?

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Insurance Shit

You're like 95% sure it's just gas. Pretty sure it's just a fart.

...but you decide to sit down on the toilet JUST in case. 95% of insurance shits usually end in something productive, and can save you from the ever-embarrassing shart.

Rick: Okay okay okay ready I got one, get the lighter...

*PRFFFFTTFFRFRTT*

Rick (cont'd): HOLY DICKSWEAT THAT WAS AMAZING!!

Roll: Okay lemme tr-...wait...wait...nope, I've gotta take an insurance shit.

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