telejerk

Someone who works from home, and communicates exclusively by email. Often after-the-fact and the voice of dissent, they waste time with long email threads instead of meeting face-to-face, or at least on the phone.

Bob: Who's this butthead Ralph who keeps sending emails poo-pooing our ideas?

Jack: Oh, he's some telejerk Terry hired last year.

3👍 3👎

male intuition

Assembling a gadget without reading instructions, throwing the extra parts out with box, then calling manufacturer and telling them they weren't included when gadget doesn't work.

Sorry I was late. I installed my GPS via male intuition and got to know your development really well over the past 30 minutes.

21👍 7👎

erassment

Harassment over email, either by extending threads well past their point of completion, or by making urgent requests better expressed in person or on the phone.

The erassment never ends. Joe just requested mid-week figures even though he's at a conference until Monday.

articulature

(n.) Stylized, intelligent or appropriately styled characteristics of an idea, proposal, speech or expression. Denotes a concept expressed in a professional, plausible manner.

I'm sorry Jack. You're proposal for casual attire year-round doesn't have enough articulature to put before the board. Come back when you can make a better case for it.

pwnd flat

Combination of "pwned" and "pounded flat." To be even more pwned than every before. Usually occurs in games, movies or other pop culture when a person has something large land on them, removing them from view and, presumably, killing them instantly. Items include cars, helicopters, boulders and buildings.

Did you see Kumar in that Superman movie? He had, like, one line, and then was pwnd flat by that 100-foot black crystal spire. Dizzam.

strategysphere

Noun

1. The vocabulary of someone who works in broad strokes, usually to hide the fact that they don’t read the fine print.
2. A vernacular reserved for educated-yet-confused people, typically in politics or business, to fill the air with expensive, polysyllabic words to intellectually filibuster when a clear answer is not apparent to said (over)speaker.

1. He spends enough time in the strategysphere to prove he didn't read the contract.

2. When Bob asked Maribeth to answer for her project's failure, she flew up to the strategysphere and never came back. By then, we were all asleep.

2👍 1👎

Dump Face

The straining expression you make the moment you take a dump. Like an “O” face, but for pooping instead of orgasming.

My roommate walked into the bathroom and saw my dump face. I feel so violated.