roommate

(n.) - The bain of one's existence. Often smelly, disrespectful, condescending, noisy, and all around horrible to know, let alone to live with. A roommate is often known to use your shit without permission, and return it in worse condition. If this means food, it is generally gone or at the least tainted beyond edibility. Roommates with typically dictate their own sleep schedule as if it is supreme to yours, stating they are an architecture major or some bullshit. Sometimes a roommate will play video games on your Xbox and television, talking to themselves while you are trying to be at peacel. Without noise canceling headphones, this can be extremely difficult. Particular roommates will make horrific noises, trying to deal with mucus build up in their windpipe. Kind of sounds like a cat coughing up a hair ball, while simultaneously scratching a chalkboard. It makes a person want to stab their roommate in the eye repeated, until the roommate ceases to live. If that isn't bad enough, a roommate will come back from the gym smelling as if he or she (he) has shit his or her (his) pants. To top it all off, a roommate will stare at a distance over your shoulder at whatever you are doing or watching on your computer. Sometimes, one might be compelled to do the same, but this time point an imaginary .50 cal sniper rifle at the back of the roommates head, pull the trigger, and fantasize about the ensuing carnage.

Sadly, one might begin to like to the roommate upon first appearance. Do not be fooled. I BESEECH YOU! Learn to deal, or GTFO WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

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