COVID Barbie

COVID Barbie is the perfectly correct nickname for president Donald Trump's last and worst Press Secretary, Kayleighahghuh McEnany. Which is saying something, given that he started his administration with a combative midget, then used a profane lunatic for two weeks, and then settled on a quasi-female trans-Sloth from The Goonies for a spell. A wholly unqualified simpleton bimbo, she represents the perfect blend of blonde lies and cheap makeup that has earned the reputation of a plastic, mildly evil doll.

See also: COVID Karen, Wicket Witch

TV watcher: "Hey, did you see that Kayleigh McEnany said that she wouldn't lie, but has done it constantly since then?"

Bored person trying to not die of COVID: "Yeah. I just wish that COVID Barbie would fall into a fire and melt already."

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Ke¢ha

The technically correct way to spell the name of the popular performer and expert on both the second-oldest and the oldest professions in the world: show business and prostitution, respectively.

Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.

Person A: "Did you see what that attention whore Ke¢ha wore on Jimmy Kimmel last night?"

Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."

Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."

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Branch Covidians

An apocalyptic, end-of-the-world death cult, Branch Covidians believe in the supremacy of "His Holiness the Douche Nozzle" Donald Trump, refuse to wear masks in the middle of a plague, threaten and commit violence against anyone protecting themselves against the corona virus, and basically won't stop until they burn their own house down with them inside. The name is borrowed from prior wackos during a community campfire in Waco, Texas in 1993.

Shopper #1: Who are those people walking through a Wal-Mart with a camcorder yelling to take off our masks?

Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.

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Bagel-faced Dipshit

The 45th President of the United States of America.

Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"

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touch pee-pee

Applied to soccer, it occurs when one or more players of the same team is playing unintelligently or inattentively, such as dribbling aimlessly in their backfield, as young children may idly play with their own or each other's genitals, regardless of gender.

It also can be applied in general to any activity where at least one person is blissfully but dangerously not paying attention to something critical.

Soccer: You two, stop playing touch pee-pee and move the ball up the field!

Life: Hey, you! Quit playing touch pee-pee and help me lift this into the truck!

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snake raper

Much like a worm burner, it is a ball struck with such great velocity along the surface of the ground that it would "brutally molest" or skin the length of a snake. Usually applied in golf or soccer.

That awful tee shot that still went 80 yards was a real snake raper.

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Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

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