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When youâre trying to play it cool and professional, but youâve got some dirty business going on in your pants. Your loose-cut boxer briefs have to be put in their place so your manhood doesnât get smushed and knocked around. So you pick a side and let it ride.
Every Friday, Dave wears the same jeans, and every Friday heâs at it with that same aggressive, two-handed Side Hustle. Nothing business casual about it.
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When you reach down to adjust your junk, and everybodyâs watching, and all you can do is play it off like, âYo. Whaddup. This goes out to everybody in the house tonight.â
His underwear wasnât feelinâ his drop-crotch pants, so he pulled out the Party Starter as he rolled to the bar.
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When excess underwear traffic squeezes in on your crotch rocket. You have to find some breathing room, commit to a line and hope everything stays in its designated lane.
They say it takes balls to pull a Lane Splitter. But it usually it usually takes a hand, too.
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When youâre trying to discreetly pick a wedgie, but you focus so much on being sneaky to the people in front of you, that you accidentally put on a full show for the people behind you.
The smell of the Gorgonzola cream sauce was made immediately unappetizing by the Sidewalk Service they were receiving from the man at the window. If only heâd worn different underwear.
When your underwear rides up, so youâve gotta drop it low real quick. You may think that the added theatrics of this move distract from the fact that your package is getting mummy-wrapped by your 100%-cotton christmas cat boxers. But really, it just looks like youâre trying to lay an egg.
This is the third time since Memorial Day that heâs blown out the crotch in his white chinos. Dudeâs gotta lay off with the ball drop.
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When youâve got to get in there and remove a possibly life-threatening wedgie before it spreads. In-and-out. Precise. Non-evasive. Take a little time to recover, and youâll be good-as-new in no time.
Ralphâs Surgical Strike to his lumpy cotton briefs was deep, but precise; the only scarring it left was on the memories of those who witnessed.