The Mad Shitter

Term used primarily in the U.S. Army. Refers to deranged individuals that leave steaming piles of poo in conspicuous areas or sometimes in or on your personal equipment. Most of the time their aim is to shock or disgust the discoverers; other times they aim to cause illness by attacking food or water sources. Most attacks are meant as practical jokes played between units but occasionally they are meant as acts revenge. Areas that the Mad Shitter has been known to strike: Public showers; on top of toilet seats; in sleeping bags; in hats or berets; in cars; in water tanks; on the hoods of cars; on desks.

Bad - “SONOFABITCH! The Mad Shitter hit our shower again last night. I bet it was one of those pricks from 1st platoon. I ain’t going to clean it up this time.”

Good – “Did you hear? The Mad Shitter laid a log on the toilet seat in the Officer Only Porta John.”
“Sweet. Serves them right for thinking that they’re special.”

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training film

U.S. military cover term for a pornographic video.

Here Private Smith, take this box of training films back to Captian Jones.

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kimchi

Military slang term primarily used in Korea and Japan. Used to describe something cheap or of low quality.

"Take the number 20 kimchi bus outside the walk through gate to get to the train station in Pyong-taek. It'll cost you less that a buck"

"Dude, I just picked up the kimchi copy DVD of War of The Worlds today for $5."

"Ha, I can't believe you paid money for that set of kimchi Tommy Hilfiger sweats. They say "TOMY HILPIGGER" you idiot."

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John Wayne toilet paper

John Wayne toilet paper – Military term used to describe the low grade toilet paper found in the MRE (Meal Ready to Eat) accessory packet. Called so because it’s rough, tough and don’t take shit off of anybody. Can also be used in place of extra fine grit sandpaper when refinishing furniture.

Can I score a roll from that big box of ass wipe that your mom sent last week?
Why?
All that I have is that damn John Wayne toilet paper.

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M & M

Abbreviation for marine mattress. Slang term for a woman or guy that only gives up the booty to marines.

“Hey, that new Air Force chick that showed up at the office yesterday is hot.”
“You don’t have a chance dude. She was in my class at the Defense Language Institute, she’s a freaking M & M and a half.”

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fart grease

Fart grease – The sticky, foul smelling substance that builds up in the crack of your ass. It’s made up of a concoction of feces, sweat, smegma and lint..

My roommate is so nasty. He picks his ass, waits a few seconds and looks to see if anyone is around, then sniffs the fart grease on his fingers.

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cook whites

U.S. Army slang term referring to severely worn and faded BDUs (Battle Dress Uniforms). New BDUs start out with random black, loam, and green amorphous shapes that form the camouflage pattern. After several months or years of washing and dry cleaning the colors bleed out. Summer weight BDUs tend to fade faster than winter weight due to the fact that they are made out of a thinner cotton based material. The term is derived from the name of the all white uniform that Army Cooks wear.

“Do not! I repeat DO NOT show up to the division change of command ceremony wearing freaking cook whites.”

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