rollerblading

A recreation that is characterized by the inability to bail out (as in skateboarding) or brake (as in bicycling). This makes even routine rolling an extreme sport unless there are no hills or traffic.

Stylistically, it is possible to be as dashing as Mercury, the winged-foot messenger god. However skaters are usually squatting and flailing their arms as they try to balance, so they end up looking pretty flamboyant.

Athletically, you can go for speed, skateboard style tricks, or dance moves with cones (slalom). Unless you have flat wide space, survival is usually challenge enough.

When rollerblading, always choose a route with no stop signs at the bottom of hills. And whatever you do, don't bend at the waist and flail your arms in circles like a complete fruit.

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urban turban

When you drape a t-shirt over your head with the collar on your forehead. You tie the arms together behind your head and then you're ready to cross the urban desert.

We had to walk five blocks in the july heat to get to the bball court, so I did an urban turban so I wouldn't get ashy.

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Urban contest

All contestents submit 5 words to UD. In several weeks, the highest success rate wins.

What are the results from last month's Urban Contest?
I had 0%. How about you?
0% as well. A draw!

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monocules

mono (single) + molecules = stray molecules. Means a tiny amount of something.

This has chicken broth in it? I can't eat it.
Don't be afraid of a few meat monocules!

Easy, it only takes a few monocules of that stuff.

The environmentalists glared at my scooter as if they were afraid of a few hydrocarbon monocules.

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urban purgatory

When an UD submission bounces around in limbo for months, receiving exactly as many approvals as disapprovals.

Dude: Where's that cool word you made up? Rejected?
Dude 2: No, it's still bouncing around in urban purgatory.

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Carolina hardcore ecstasy

When you don oversized plastic leather shoes and stomp all over a girl, for her pleasure. -Frank Zappa

"then she gave the shoes to me,
and said Darling stomp all over me"

"Carolina Hardcore Ecstasy", Frank Zappa

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banik

(verb) To leave clothes in the dryer too long, not iron them, and then wear them to work with canyon-like wrinkles.

Dude: Boss looks like a slob today
Man: It's because his shirt has geologic wrinkles.
Dude: Then he baniked his laundry!

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