tryptophan coma

A fallacy that is perpetuated by people as an excuse for their lazy behavior following their diet-crushing Thanksgiving meal. Turkey has no more tryptophan than ground beef and, according to several sources, "tryptophan doesn't act on the brain unless it is taken on an empty stomach with no protein present, and the amount gobbled even during a holiday feast is generally too small to have an appreciable effect".

Instead, people should attribute their bullshit tryptophan coma to the large amount of carbohydrates and alcohol they consume that day... usually after a long drive to a relative's house that is hotter than normal because of the cooking.

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bird-dog

In football, the expression used to describe when a quarterback stares down receivers before throwing to them. The term is used because a hunting dog will become fixated on the target bird and never take his eyes off of him. This is extremely frowned upon since it tips off the defenders and could result in horrible hits on your receivers.

"Most rookie NFL quarterbacks have to work on not bird-dogging their receivers or they will get their pass-catchers killed."

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Who's Now

"Who's Now" was a daily series aired during SportsCenter throughout July 2007, in which viewers helped ESPN determine the ultimate sports star by considering both on-field success and off-field buzz. That's from Wikipedia and they have to be impartial. If you were to ask any sports fan, they would tell you that the series is one of the most patently contrived, idiotic nonsense to ever hit the airwaves. Most people instantly change the channel - to absolutely anything - when the theme music for the segment begins.

"Who's Now is so artificial, from concept to execution, that watching it is like chewing Styrofoam." - Newsweek

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Walk-Off Home Run

A term in sports lingo that has gotten completely out of control. Originally coined by Dennis Eckersley in 1993 to describe a home run of such power that you don't even turn around to look ... you just walk off the mound.

The corny fools at ESPN - and their brain dead followers - now use the term to decribe virtually any play that ends the game; walk-off hit, balk, double, single, etc.

"Game-ending" and "Game-winning" have surrendered.

If we use the term "Walk-Off Home Run" why not ... "The Mets lost in the bottom of the 10th on a walk-off groundout."

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Fuckstomp

To completely and utterly destroy; usually when referring to an athletic competition.

"Wow, did you see Oklahoma get fuckstomped by UCLA this weekend?"

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one-time

Amongst other terms, the polite thing to yell when you see a cop cruising around, especially slowly.

"One-time! One-time!" (Then walk briskly in the opposite direction.)

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Yonkers

Contrary to popular belief, Yonkers is one of the safest cities in the United States if you consider that Yonkers is about 200,000 strong. People who tout otherwise are disinterested in using logic and/or facts. To their credit, Southwest Yonkers (home of the lovely Schlobaum and Mulford Gardens) is absolutely brutal.

The city is coming around. With its perfect residence on the Hudson River (which is a great landmark nobody cares about), Yonkers is rebuilding the waterfront and looking to return to its roots when the city was tabbed, "The City of Gracious Living."

"Mulford Gardens is, by all accounts, a notorious public housing project: a cracking, leaking behemoth in southwest Yonkers that is teeming with crack addicts, reeking of urine, infested with mice and devoid of any soothing greenery or recreational space that its name might suggest. The rest of the city is quite nice."

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