Warwick

The act of inserting more than one finger up the rectum (either your own or someone elses), preferably in a public place.

Man, Steve totally warwicked Luke at the gig last night

77👍 127👎

art scratching

The act of rubbing ones stubbly, unshaven chin against the buttocks or around the anal area of a willing 'victim'. Named because the main participants of this pastime are wannabee boho arty types with bad skin.

Geoff: Did you see Briggsy at NG1 last night?

Ringo: Why, what happened?

Geoff: He held someone down and gave them a right good art scratching. They couldn't walk properly for the rest of the evening...

8👍 3👎

Whitworth

When a well-endowed gentleman suffers from an involuntary erection, preferably in a public place...

Ron had a whitworth yesterday, it scared the shit out of Julie...

33👍 18👎

briggsy

A scruffy chav who has several ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) to his name yet still ponces about the place pretending to be an artist.

"Look at that mincing twat with the paintbrushes up his arse. Bet he's a right Briggsy"

40👍 17👎

defra lard pole

An erection caused by the lusting of a co-workers (typically in the civil service) obese frame and immense buttocks

David saw Vanessas arse and the resulting defra lard pole lasted three hours

5👍 1👎