mushroom bruise

A phallic contusion in the shape of a mushroom inflicted by a forceful blow of a penis to one's body.

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Scrotaling

(verb) 1. a technique whereby the scrotum is stretched so as to induce a falsetto, almost operatic vocalization.
2. a vocalization resembling the aforementioned.

After tireless career of scrotaling, Michael Bolton's sack is large enough to fabricate tom tom heads.

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