Schrodinger's Cum

When you donate to a sperm bank and are unsure if you have fathered a child.

My buddy Dave JO'd at a sperm bank and now he's got Schrodinger's cum yo

Hardwick's DIsease

When you will do absolutely anything to impress hipsters to gain a following. Pronouncing words with a unreasonable flair, referencing books that are out of print or long forgotten bands that 'deserve a comeback'. Started with Chris Hardwick's need for approval by demeaning himself in anyway possible.

Steve : "What's wrong with Tom? He's wearing a scarf in the middle of summer"
Toby : "He has no friends, so he is trying to impress hipsters"
Steve : "Full blown Hardwick's Disease"

Neon Clown

Facial ejaculation illuminated under a UV light or backlight.

Steve "I didn't know she was a neon clown until we got to the club."
Dave "Aww man fo sho"
Steve "yea that bitch be glowin"