Wank Cramp

A condition found among those who take part in excessively (read: legendarily) long bate sessions whereby the tendons in one's fingers seize up, causing pain and a limited range of movement for a not-insignificant amount of time.

A: What you get up to last night, dude?
B: Err, I had a little smoke... and then I was tugging for England, mate. Musta taken me at least 10 hours to shoot!
A: Dude, that's epic!
B: Yeh but now my cock's sore and I've got wank cramp ¬_¬
A: LOL!