Nicolas Cage

An actor who is physically unable to show restraint when accepting film roles. The quality of the role is reflected in the length of his hair. A neat haircut will surely garner some sort of critical recognition (e.g. Leaving Las Vegas, Lord Of War, Adaptation) One of the few actors in Hollywood to get incrementally worse with each role. Also, he has a tendency to appear in odd publications such as Serbian textbooks and Civil War photographs. He is possibly inhuman, inflicting generations of unsuspecting movie goers for generations to come.

"Nicolas Cage is the finest actor of our generation". -Nicolas Cage, Academy Award speech 1995.

"I'm just glad he was never in the Godfather". -Francis Ford Coppola

"He was an absolute pleasure to work with, truly an extraordinary talent". -The Mop from The Sorcerer's Apprentice

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