To have a wank when Paul and Barry are on.
"Dude, I just walked in on your Dad having a chuckleshuffle.
Fudge eater- someone who eats shit for their sexual satisfaction. Something your mum does. When your dad is out. With the turds your dog lays out.
"Dude, I think your mum is a fudge chomper, she has shit around her mouth."
To be a weepy, cranky, mopey little bitch of a man just like your ex girlfriend acted once a month. Before she left you. For your Dad.
You are crying so much, is it your time of month to manstruate?
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When you are on the loo about to poo but it feels like you have been on a diet of nuts, Shreddies, barbed wire and glass and it actually hurts to push it out.
"Mr Stabby came to visit this morning and I think I have shredded my colon!"
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