Kevin

Also known as Longbeard Kevin. Is known to dip his long girl like hair into the grease vats at his place of employment. “Anal Town.” He’s know to spend much of the day at Singing Salmon. He also does free lance jiggalo work for a side hustle. Many people who see him mistake him for a pirate. Which in fact he is. Ex lovers of kevin’s often tell tales of his devil dick. His soul is 147 years old. And most notably he has a Great Uncle who was in the olympics. But to clarify he would NEVER under any circumstance date a girl who is in the olympics.

Random person: look over there its a fucking pirate!!
Me: thats kevin

Shep: hey i have this girl that i think you would like should i give her you’re number
Kevin: is she in the olympics?

Al: this fat old lady at the bar is lookin for someone to fuck
Me: ill call kevin.