Bryson

Bryson is the name given to a male born in the U.S. that possesses a few distinct qualities. First, those given the name are known to speak wayyyyy too quickly and barely anyone can understand them. Secondly, they boast of their achievements and like to say just how manly they are, even though they have literally NO REAL achievements to boast of. Third, they generally end up starting the developmental stage of puberty in which they begin to form attractions at a very late stage, most commonly to be 40+ years of age. Lastly, they have next to no vocabulary for actual insults, and the most creative thing that a Bryson has ever come up with is "Toilet Lover"

Person with the name of Bryson: *speaking at 100,000,000wpm (words per minute) "Yeah I like was so awesome when I went on that zipline, of course though yeah it was like so high in the air on a tree, and like, was of course very fun to do and I was so manly"

Literally anyone with common human decency who is not named Bryson: "Just, no. Please, just, shut up Bryson! Leave me alone! Just STOP BEING A BRYSON!!!"