Mockers

Noun used to express impending trouble similar to ‘bad luck’, a ‘curse’ or ‘jinx’

When doing something important outside and someone naively states “I hope it doesn’t rain” you would reply “Well now you’ve put the mockers on it!”

poo mitt

A poo mitt is a temporary glove composed of toilet paper and used as a deuce lowering device, decreasing splash down so that toilet neighbours can’t gauge your work by sound

“My girlfriend was brushing her teeth whilst I was on the loo so I had to make a sneaky poo mitt”