Bean Bag

A presumably uninsured jalopy that contains a dozen or more Mexicans. Said vehicle is typically an 80s-era, USA-brand van or minivan with oxidating paint, cheap purple tinting, honeycombs of dents, gaudy chrome tire rims, and a large Virgin Mary and/or Mexican flag and/or Oakland Raiders decal(s) on the back window and Latino/Salsa radio station stickers on the rear bumper. Often seen in downscale areas of Santa Ana and decaying LA suburbs of Bell Gardens, Pico Rivera, South Gate, and Huntington Park. In general, prevalence of Bean Bags in a city indicates lack of white or Asian majority. Sometimes blaring Mexican polka/ranchera music ostensibly broadcasted from radio stations advertised on bumper stickers. Driver travels at least 20 miles per hour below the speed limit at all times. Driver and rest of adults are often obese with vacant expressions on their faces; kids in car also obese but often seen jumping up and down on seats or floor of vehicle or staring blankly at you through its back windows as you nearly get killed trying to pass it on the 5 Freeway in heavy traffic.

I was on the 5 this morning when I got stuck behind a bean bag full of fat Mexicans.

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Newport Beach

A city in Orange County, California; home to most of the rich, conservative jerks that make up Orange County's power base and shadow government. The cosmetic surgery capital of Orange County and white collar crime capital of the United States. The typical Newport Beach resident is a Rabid Republican with Money (the most damaging kind) and wishes that Ronnie Reagan was still President. Like many of the rich and entitled, residents live by the credo "Do as I say and not as I do." To fill the empty void in their lives, the women spend their days in the vapid pursuit of material goods and bigger and better boobs; the men spend their days snorting coke, screwing their wives' girlfriends, and practicing crony capitalism; and the children spend their days smoking pot, surfing, and hating their parents (who they will of course grow up to emulate).
The city, on behalf of and with generous assistance from its wealthy residents, tried to engineer the building of a huge, noisy, and polluting international airport at the abandoned El Toro Marine Base adjacent to neighboring Irvine. These Bush Pioneers/Assholes claimed that the unnecessary airport dangerously close to the Santa Ana mountain range was "sorely needed" and would create "thousands of jobs"; in actuality they believed that jets should fly over Irvine's middle class homes and not their own. As part of the scheme the recently remodeled, taxpayer-financed airport next to Newport would have been converted into a small craft facility to be used primarily by themselves. However, Orange County voters refused to be hoodwinked or allow their property values to be undermined and the airport was resoundingly defeated, and the base zoned for parkland and annexed by the city of Irvine.
Thanks to putrid TV program "The O.C.," half of America thinks that all of Orange County is like Newport Beach (the other half think it is like the putrid "Laguna Beach"). This misconception serves as a wellspring of rage and shame to Orange County's more literal-minded residents.

The residents of Newport Beach tried to make airplanes fly over my house, and for that I will always despise them.
"The O.C." is only accurate to the extent that it represents people from Newport Beach.

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