FERN

A FERN is a nickname given to a nurse who works in emergency medicine, standing for "Fucking ER Nurse". FERNs are a special breed of nurses. They are rough, ornery, and house a level of sarcasm that can only be matched by the EMT allies. Their shifts are fueled by Bangs, 18 G needles, and their last fuck to give. They have no problem telling you that they do not give a flying fuck about the skin assessment of a healthy and ambulatory 28 year old, here for Cholecystitis". They also do not care that your are unhappy with a line in the AC (because the line was placed for the contrast dye used in the PE work-up, not your maintenance fluids). FERNs are best known for their resourcefulness, capability to run a code better than most Attendings, sick and dark sense of humor, and a cutthroat stare that could burn a hole straight through you.

-"The downstairs nurse called 5 times to give report, neglected to replace a K+ of 3.4, and stated "she's ambulatory" when I asked what the patient's skin looked like. What a FERN".
-"I wouldn't fuck with her/him. They are a FERN".

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