Airing spuds

Airing a spud is a sinful and wrong, it consists of the action of IGNORING a fist bump

Patrick: *holds out fist for fist bump*
Dennis: * sees this but purposefully ignores*
Patrick: DENNIS COME ON MAN WHAT THE HELL YOU CANT BE AIRING SPUDS LIKE THIS

Coloccinni

Fabricio Coloccinni - what a guy, his luscious brown locks are guaranteed to win your heart over but wait till you see what he can do with a ball

The famous Coloccinni Song:
Ooooh Coloccinni

You are the love of my life, Oh Coloccinni

I’d let you shag my wife, oh Coloccinni

I want curly hair tooooo

Bore off you pikey

One of the classics in the Oxford English Dictionary, bore off you pikey is a phrase used a last resort when faced with a state of complete anger and desperation

Mother: please tidy your room

Me: not now I’m taking a dub

Mother: I’ll smash up your PS4 you sket
Me: oh bore off you pikey

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Shag a shortbread

When you’ve just made a grand old error or found out some devastating news it’s appropriate to use this phrase

Mother: yer nan’s just died x
Me: OH shag a shortbread!

shat in your cornflakes

When someone’s being a moody fucker you might use this phrase to find out why

Mia:*being a daft moody bugger*
Claudia: who’s shat in YOUR cornflakes?

a gorm

A nerdy twat with no friends

Seb: I pulled a penger last night
Paco: was she fit or a gorm though

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Spud that

A special fist bump you have to do an epic deed to earn
E.g
Telling a rad joke

Steve: *does epic backflip*
Ricardo: whoa man that’s certi spud that