tease one out

The act of masturbation when performed by a man.

Guy: "I'm just off to my room to tease one out"
Mum: "OK, but be quick, dinners nearly ready"

16👍 6👎

star trek

A collection of films and TV series that follow the exploits of humans in the future as they knock around space in starships designed by the same fella as the ford escort.
The original Star trek series wasn't highly thought of in its time, but did at least try, although it did have a cowboys in space feel to it.
Following the starship Enterprise on their mission to boldly go where no man has been before, they discovered aliens, intelligent gas clouds, new bars and the womens toilet. Captain Kirk often tried harder than anyone else to go where no man had been before by trying to get it on with alien women. He certainly crossed the line that few men had crossed before, interspecies sex. Sometimes called beastiality, its a crime in most current countries. Still, it didn't deter him, I might point out that monkeys and apes are also humanoid, who knows what he did on shore leave? and if he wasn't trying to shag it, he was usually shooting at it. Still, it was a laugh.
After that it all got a bit dodgy. In the films and later series people still tried to get jiggy with anything bipedal, but also started spreading their dubious social ethic to what ever poor species was unable to defend it self, and sometimes going to war if they said "hang on here, we've been quite happy without this crap for the last 3 billion years, don't come round here with your shit, sod off". There is more intergration of aliens into the crew, but only if they are good, complient alien. God help anyone who questions the federations ideas.
PLot lines were generally terrible, and often involved inventing an new fundamental particle in last five minutes to get out of trouble. This is on a par with the "it was all a dream" type ending that children sometimes use when they can't be arsed to finish their homework, and generally caused much head shaking in the real sci-fi community. The shows have not helped sci-fi's image much at all.

Star trek-
Picard: "Riker, pull out of that chimp and get to the bridge immediatly, we need to invent a sciency sounding particle to get out of this giant space borne hummingbirds arse"
Riker: "Aye Captain"
Chimp: "Oooooooooook ahhhhh"

36👍 93👎