The Unfuckables

A collective noun. These are groups of chicks who travel together on Friday and Saturday nights, walking into clubs and bars after 11pm like cowboys in the old spaghetti westerns.

They are looking for a drink and a fuck.

The shame of it is they are pig ugly harridans and what no sane dude is going to go for.

Dude 1: "Hey, Dawg, check out those three ugly chicks what just walked in!"
Dude 2: "Yeeech! The Unfuckables!"

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Lesbos

This is a district under the government of a prefect (or prefecture) in Greece. It's made up of a number of islands in the Aegean Sea.

According to Greek mythology, the god of the islands was called 'Lesbos.'

An ancient poet called Sappho wrote about love between women about 2700 years ago and that's where we get the term 'lesbian' from.

Apparently, Sappho's poetry was pretty hot stuff and the Christians didn't like it. Little of it remains today thanks to a policy of it being destroyed by those against it.

Greek 1: "Behold! Across the Aegean sail the lovers Clitus Enormos and Vulva Maximus from the islands of Lesbos!"
Greek 2: "I'm hard as a temple pillar already!"

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Ralgex and rocksalt

The very worst sexual feeling one can experience. Describes a very unpleasant penetrative fuck.

Ralgex is a warming muscle rub sold in the UK and rocksalt is just gritty and nasty. Anyone who feels like this in the ass or pussy is plain horrid and probably diseased, or an overbanged ho.

Dude 1: "How was your date last night, Dawg?"
Dude 2: "She looked fine but felt like Ralgex and rocksalt when she took it up the marmite motorway* my man!"

* Hershey Highway for American readers.

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milfellate

Verb. The act of being fellated by a milf.

Dude 1: "Hey dude, why the big smile?"
Dude 2: "Yeah!! I've just been milfellated."
Dude 1: "Way to go! Who's the lips then?"
Dude 2: "Your mom."
Dude 1: "WTF?"

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hearty handshake

Yet another term for a wank. This is where a chap goes off and gives his member a jolly good handshake. Popular with bored office workers around 4.00pm.

Dude 1: "I say, good day at the office old chap?"
Dude 2: "I'm afraid not. I had to give myself a hearty handshake to get me through the day."

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slagoglyphics

These are the tattoos found on various parts of a slag's body. When said slag went into the tattoo parlour, they belived they were getting some meaningful hieroglyphics with deep and ancient derivation ... wrong. From: slag + hieroglyphics.

Tattoo dude 1: "Hey! I just gave some fat minger a real set of slagoglyphics."
Tattoo dude 2: "What they say?"
Tattoo dude 1: "I just wrote 'I AM A COCKSUCKER' in Japanese - got the graphics from Google!"

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rusty handcuffs

Another of the Holy Grail sex acts to be found in select porno movies. This is where a guy gets to fist two chicks in the ass at the same time. He is wearing the rusty handcuffs.

Dude 1: "Yo! I got a great new porno. This lucky bastard gets to wear the rusty handcuffs!"
Dude 2: "That's sick man. Lend me a copy."

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