Work

Something that separates you from the norm of lazy assholes. It is a task you must do that supposedly sticks to a fixed schedule when really it doesn't, and keeps you from communicating with any friends for long periods of time.

It also provides a solution to the awkwardness when someone stalking you wishes to call you, because you can't pick up your cell phone.

"Why'd you call me so much? I was at work."

"Well, did you wanna go to dinner tomorrow? We co--"

"I can't. I work. You know, that thing I was doing when you called me repeatedly and I didn't answer?"

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