Big John

Someone who constantly one ups you, no matter how ridiculous the statement.

"My grandfather has an incredible hat collection. He has 742 hats!"

"That's nothing. I have *743* hats!"

"You're just Big Johnning me."

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"I used to do ballet when I was little."

(A 400 pound morbidly obese person) "I starred in Swan Lake!"

"Yeah, OK Big John."