Michigan State University

The bronze medal of Michigan. No matter how you spin it this school is worse than Michigan--the gold Medal of the state. The boys are dumb and act like wiggers. The girls are pretty but very very stupid. These kids wanted to go to Michigan their whole lives, but then they got what us "rodents" never receive--a rejection letter. State students should get used to seeing a lot of these. It is more of a party school--I guess. But it gets old fast when you realize the only thing to do is to drink beer from a red cup at a party where you can't even move. Get used to beer pong, because that is all there is to do there. Michigan on the other hand has, parties, a far better bar scene, and museums. Plus its in Ann Arbor so there is always some cultural event. East Lansing just has the shitty bar known as Rick's. Also the water tastes like crap for some reason. The only advantage to State is that its football and basketball teams are beating ours at the moment. Then again if you think that is a real advantage your a moron. Sports teams go up and down all the time. I hope its a big comfort for you state kids when its time to get my coffee.

Dad on son's day of birth: My son is a Michigan boy all the way. He's going to get a michigan cradle, a Michigan blanket, and a miniature Michigan outfit.

Son at age 16: Oh boy me and my Dad are going up to Michigan today. We've been going to the Big House for the Michigan v Michigan State game ever since I can remember. I can't wait until I finally get to Ann Arbor.

Dad when son is 18: My son screwed around and ruined his future. I have to smile and pretend like I'm so proud he's going to Michigan State University. But to be honest I'm jealous of your son Bob; can you please tell me what it feels like to watch that packet arrive knowing that the last 18 years payed off and that your son is accepted to Michigan?

Son at 19: No man, you don't even understand. I never wanted to go to Michigan; I've been a state man my whole life. You see Michigan kids don't live their life. While they're studying I'm here taking a piss on Sigma Chi's dumpster drinking a beer and living my life. Ya the cops here aren't as cool so i have to hide my beer, and ya the beer isn't free; but the grinding on random girls here is so much better than the grinding at Ann Arbor.

Son at 26: I know I'm going to graduate next year. Besides I can't leave until I lose my virginity. Plus I want our football and basketball to be number one again. Who knew Michigan would get good so fast. Its not as if sports teams get better and worse randomly all the time--oh wait they do.

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