College of Wooster

A small liberal arts college in Wooster, Ohio. Self defined by their slogan "independent minds, working together" and promoted by their Independent Study program. While academically it is ranked highly, this is artificially inflated and it is mediocre at best. It does, however, provide yearly one of the best Division III basketball teams in the country, while boasting the highest win percent record in all of NCAA Basketball for the last decade.

However, the governing body is narrow minded and fails to provide a liberal arts lifestyle. Nearing $50,000 yearly to attend (after tuition, books, further class expenses, 'group fines', etc...), it seems most of the money is wasted. Students under the drinking age of 21 often face serious academic and legal consequences. Among banned things include drinking games, forties, and the most dangerous threat of all, nerf guns. Security will not hesitate to call the local police department. Several members of the administration are actively trying to ban smoking (tobacco) from campus as well, smoking marijuana gets you sent to the local jail.

Rumor has it that one year the college was ranked the least attractive school in the country. Weekend activities include chasing after C.O.W.S. (College of Wooster Sluts), drinking and breaking 40's out of spite, hiding from security, staying in your place of residence to do illicit things safely (like firing your smuggled nerf gun, or playing beer pong), and leaving campus for freedom.

Common exchange between College of Wooster students...

Dan: Smash any COWS this weekend?

Kirk: Nah... Security looked in my window and saw me pre-gaming with a Four Loko, came in, took my nerf pistol, my pipe, and called the cops. You?

Dan: Went to a frat party but it got busted after an hour, you gotta see the J-board (judicial board)?

Kirk: Yup, Thursday, they even found a Playboy and are charging me with 'violating respect for self'...

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