Alex Webster

Awesome bassist for two equally awesome Death Metal bands: Hate Eternal and Cannibal Corpse.

Alex webster's excessively technical style makes him one of the best bassists in the American Death Metal scene.

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▼

Fuck you; I'm an upside-down triangle.

▼ Yep. That sure is one upside-down triangle ya got there, bromigo

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Joey Jordison

Mediocre-at-best drummer for NU METAL band Slipknot, who, despite not having any particularly exceptional talent, is heralded as "the fastest drummer ever" by Slipknot's legions of cretinous fans.

I mean, compared to other Nu Metal drummers, he's pretty good, but considering the Nu Metal genre as a whole, that isn't saying much.

I mean, seriously, what the fuck? Fastest drummer EVER? I don't think so.

For all those who remain unconvinced, check out Cryptopsy's None So Vile album. While it's almost guaranteed that nearly every run-of-the-mill Mallcore/Nu Metal kid will lack the capacity to appreciate cryptopsy's excellence, just focus on the drumming. If that doesn't eliminate this absurd conception that Joey Jordison is even close to ranking amongst the world's fastest drummers, then I don't think anything will.

Just go on youtube and search "Flo Mounier Rehearsing Phobophile." I would link directly to it but this asshole website won't let me.

So, there you have it. A rehearsal take from Phobophile, one of the songs on the aforementioned Cryptopsy album, None So Vile.

If, when compared against Joey Jordisons drumming, you still think that Joey's faster, then there's something wrong with you.

As an amusing side-note, not so long ago I heard a couple of Slipknot fans talking about how Joey was, in fact, the fastest drummer in the world... I just chuckled.

33👍 52👎

Jonas Brothers Suck

A tested and proven fact. This band is so abysmally terrible that it would be funny if their "music" wasn't so god damn annoying. If you are a fan of the Jonas Brothers, then you are a tasteless individual who probably has no idea what real music is (see also: Jonas Brothers Fan).

Incredibly rudimentary guitar work, basic and stale drumming and ultra annoying, nasal-as-fuck vocals are what the Jonas Brother's "music" is composed of. It's not original or innovative in the slightest, either.

More proof that the Jonas Brothers suck, as though it was really necessary, is the fact that their fan base is almost entirely retarded. Just check through the comments on any of the many hate videos scattered throughout Youtube. Even scarier still is the fact that some fans actually actively seek out these videos just to attack them... and they say us haters have no lives. Ironic, huh?

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