Abercrombie

1. Buy jeans from another store.
2. Set them down in the street.
3. Run them over with a monster truck repeatedly.
4. Jack up the prices and sell.
5. ???
6. PROFIT!!!

Honestly, why do people buy Abercrombie jeans and think they look cool? It's fucking repugnant.

4👍 6👎

Canada

America's Coolio hair.

United States: How's the weather up there?
Canada: Fuck you.

8👍 21👎

post-acquaintance friend request

The friend request sent right after meeting someone for the first time.

After meeting Ryan at the party, Dave sent him a post-acquaintance friend request to secure their friendship.

5643👍 1707👎

MLIA

A once-great website about average everyday tasks.

The first few posts were actually average (examples below), but now nothing that anyone ever posts is average. I think people are mistaking the A for awesome.

Every MLIA talks about the following topics:
-Waldo
-Harry Potter
-Twilight
-11:11PM
-People finishing songs that other people are singing
-Chuck Norris
-Reading things with a British accent
-"Funny" directions on packaging
-"Funny" laws
-Pirates vs. Ninjas
-Google vs. Yahoo!

And similarly, every MLIA post ends with one of the following:
-Life. Complete.
-Best. _______. Ever.
-New favorite _______? I think so.
-I regret nothing.
-I'm still confused.
-I still have questions.
-This kid is going places.
-I love ______.
-Touché

Basically, you could write some bullshit story about Harry Potter and slap one of those totally original endings to it, and people will think you're the embodiment of Jesus Christ.

AVERAGE post: Today, I briefly considered getting car insurance, before realizing that I didn't want to deal with it at the moment. Then I had some trail mix. MLIA

RETARDED post: Today, one of my friends told me to go to Google and type in 'finding chuck norris' in the search box and click 'i'm feeling lucky.' When I did, the response was 'Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.' Best thing ever? I think so. MLIA.

Can you pick out the average one? I sure fucking can't!
EXTRA CREDIT: Figure out which one hasn't been done 9000+ times to win a fabulous prize.

88👍 76👎

Black Friday

Stupid people spending money they don't have on shit they don't need.

HOLY SHIT, THE MICROWAVES ARE ON SALE?! I HAVE TO BUY ALL OF THEM BECAUSE IT'S BLACK FRIDAY!

*slips on a banana peel and gets trampled to death*

52👍 10👎

fropping

Fropping is making frog-like movements and sounds while taking a dump on a girl's chest.

Guy 1: I was fropping that girl for 3 hours steady.
Guy 2: O_o... that's so kinky.

6👍 11👎

Coolio

The cheapest Halloween costume ever.

All you have to do is cut off a bunch of tree branches and glue them to your scalp, and you've got the hair down.

Person 1: Why do you have branches on your head?
Person 2: That's supposed to be Coolio's hair.
Person 1: OHHHH. Now I see it. -high five-

2👍 6👎