alopecia totalis fulminans

NO hair. Anywhere. Ever

Yo, dat bitch be sexy AND slippery 'cause she be baaaalllddd ereywharrr.
Yup. Das da alopecia totalis fulminans! Enjoy!

Struggle Snuggle

Rape

Who could get upset by a little struggle snuggle?

5👍 9👎

'roid tits

In an exhaustive attempt to stave off the physical ravages of time, many aging males resort to the use of HGH, Testosterone and/or other illicit or unsupervised hormone replacement protocols. Unfortunately, the metabolism of these agents may result in an excess of available Estrogen which causes unwanted, unexpected and permanent development of breasts.

YO! Check out Roy! He's got 3% body fat and is as strong as a fuckin' baboon ... too bad about the 'roid tits.

YUP, guess who's saving up for surgery...

28👍 4👎

commode paralysis

A condition often associated with excessive on-toilet gaming, or other time-distracting activities, resulting in temporary loss of lower extremity use.

Damn if I didn't just fall off the shitter! Got the commode paralysis. Couldn't move my legs or feel 'em neither...BUT I KILLED ON FORTNITE, WORTH IT!!!

38👍 5👎

Wu-flu

Straight outta Wuhan Province, the cruise-ship-quarantine, pseudo-scourge of 2020.

Cover yer cough-hole, bro...someone might think you've got the wu-flu and lock yer ass in a box for two weeks..

75👍 15👎

skorge

The presidents mis-pronounciation of the word: scourge /skərj/

The Chinese virus is an unseen skorge that can be cured by excessive use of facial bronzer...

12👍 3👎

bullshit vaccine

An imaginary vaccine that inoculates an individual from succumbing to derisive conspiracy theories, propagating political disinformation and ascribing to novel, ineffective COVID treatments that do more harm than good.

Hey, did you hear that urine therapy, oleandrin, hydroxy chloroquine, ivermectin and demon sperm can KILL COVID and ALL variants?
Yeah, sure. Why don't you get in that line over there. You REALLY NEED a bullshit vaccine.

2👍 1👎