I'm on COVID

The universally proffered excuse for failing to show up for work, meet a project deadline or generally suck at meeting the current demands of existence.

Wasn't that work product due 2 weeks ago?
Are you coming to work today?
Why is your mortgage payment 3 weeks late?
Universal response: Cain't, I'm on COVID.

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Slunk meat

'Tang so passed around that you'd expect to find a free global entry tattoo on her junk.

Hey, what stinks in here?
Ummm, nothin'.
Really?! You sure you haven't been banging that slunk meat bitch on the community sofa?
Yeah, well maybe we should consider getting that deep cleaned.
MUTHAFUCKA, you best get your hands on some Easy-Off and get to work or I'm gonna bust a fuckin cap in you dumb white ass!!!

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dick in the back

An unexpected morning bed partner condition with potentially serious expectation implications.

So, WTF is that?!
Ummm. dick in the back???
Hold on a sec, lemme think.

Delta-Cron

An emerging SARS CoV 2 mutation that combines the virulence of the Delta variant and the transmissibility of Omicron.

Ok. It looks like Omicron is a highly contagious variant, but causes far less illness than Delta.
Right on!
Not so fast. Delta-Cron is coming; the worst of both worlds.
I wish that vaccine micro-chip would just kill me now.

Corona Clown

Any individual who simply cannot understand the very serious consequences of ignoring social distancing during a pandemic crisis; who demonstrates value of their own personal misguided satisfaction over the lives of others by proceeding with non-urgent, unnecessary and high-risk international air-travel.

Yeah, I've never seen such high levels of arrogance and ignorance displayed by so many. All it takes is one Corona Clown to bring back serious misery ...

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certified abstinence instructor

A life-calling for a precious few, incredibly optimistic individuals who think that it's actually possible to bridle the massive force of copulation using reason, logic, gods wrath, consequence or any other easy to ignore methodology.

I'm a certified abstinence instructor; das right! I don't care how worked up their loins be ge'in, a few pictures of god's herpes curse will shrink that hard-on faster than a busted cherry on prom-nite.

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Big-Box Religion

Any one of the actively evaporating yet previously powerful, influential and popular religious organizations currently attempting, in desperation, to maintain relevance and retain control of adherents.

Seems like I'm a 'none'...can't hang with Big-Box Religion

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