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1) According to most Americans, it does not exist. Sort of like Area 51.
2) Founded in 1876, it actually resides in New London, Connecticut (which means most Americans might as well be right). The Academy is a four-year military-college-ish environment that ostensibly educates and trains young Coast Guard officers.
2) Academy graduates are lovingly referred to by OCS graduates as "Academy Pukes."
1)
USCGA Cadet: I go to the Coast Guard Academy
American Citizen: What's the Coast Guard Academy? Are you in the Navy/Air Force?
2)
USCGA Cadet: The mission of the United States Coast Guard Academy is to graduate young men and women with sound bodies, stout hearts, and alert minds...
3)
OCSGRAD1: Hey, man did you get your billet on the Diligence?
OCSGRAD2: NO! Some Academy Puke got it first.
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A variation of ownage, chiefly of the mathematical sort, derived from the great one, the true J.C. himself, Jerry Carnes.
Let's say your test grade was a 54.
You would say:
Dude, I just got totally "Carnes Owned."
From the archaic Cattus-Whompus (Greek in nature) for the cowherd who was wedded to the daughter of the cousin of the son of Aries (the parents of whom were Catius and Whompius). Hence, the term was created to describe any of the Grecian cowherds who were descended from the original Catius.
This original definition gradually evolved into our more modern definition: the brand of any number of nonexistent products one may search to find in a place of trade.
You: Excuse me sir, do you have the latest Cattywhompus bag?
Clerk: Let me check our inventory.
You: Oh, I have most eagerly awaited the newest addition to the Cattywhompus line of products.
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It is that of love of which if you speak, some people will call you Maurice.
Used by Steve Miller and his band in the song "Enter Maurice," but most famously in the song "The Joker."
Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Maurice
Cause I speak of the pompitous of love.
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