wooden router

This is what you call the router of someone on an online game who has very slow internet connection and therefore has high latency and lags a lot.

Gamer 1: Omfg I can't play with this delay. There is such much lag
Gamer 2: Nobody else is lagging its just you.
Gamer 3: Yeah you just have a wooden router.

Chinese host

A derogatory term for someone who is hosting an online game with slow internet. It comes from the idea that there are so many Chinese gamers they hack Western servers and when they play there they lag heavily because of the distance.

Gamer 1: Omfg this game is actually lagging every second.
Gamer 2: Yeah me too but I only have 40 ms.
Gamer 1: It's because of the fucking Chinese host.