Cat

An evil demon creature of the night possessing the Deranged spirit of a devil in their afterlife. If a black cat crosses your path from the left, it is female. from the right, male. If it jumps down from a tree above and hisses at you before launching its razor sharp talons into your skin, it is the spirit of an Illuminati god. stay away. Save yourself from eternal darkness. Alone. Alone. Alooooooone.

“I swear, he’s gonna be a cat someday.”
“dude, don’t get all catty up in here!”
“Cat”

Fart

The wet one: the one where you think you’re farting but something else happens...

The silent but deadly: the one where you make no noise and think you’re off the hook, but the smell overpowers the whole room and you think you’ll never see the daylight again.

The loud one: the one where you make it so loud, everyone hears it and goes into a frienzy finding who did it. you slump lower in your seat.

The Mexican one: the one where it sounds disgusting and it has a Mexican aroma that makes you barf. Usually after taco Tuesday.

The royal one: the tiniest blip of a fart that smells a tiny bit and no one except you notices

The toot: the one where you fart and then say, “oops! I’m so sorry I tooted!” And you regret it when people make fun of you for saying “toot” instead of “fart”

The long goodbye: the one that lasts so long you finish digging a hole and crawling in it by the time it ends

The big one: the one where it’s such a powerful blow your butt cheeks fly apart and when they come back together you feel like you just got a wedgie

The beautiful one: the one where you fart so gracefully, people Around you start crying happy tears and some lady randomly starts opera singing in the background, and angles fly around as a halo appears over your head.

The boof: you can’t hear it but you can feel the vibrato if your but cheeks jiggling the earth.

The crap: the one where you think you crapped your pants so you go to the bathroom to find out it was just a fart.

“Do you know how to fart?”