nrl

An irrelevant competition comprising of a few Sydneysiders and several inbred bogans from Queensland, who have somehow made a career out of playing the “sport” known as rugby league. It is essentially a glorified Sunday-League, and despite fans constantly claiming that “1/2 the population watches it”, it has never had any cultural or societal impact on Australia, and never will.

When not competing common pastimes for NRL players include brawling in nightclubs, beating their wives, fingering each other’s rectums, fucking their dogs, and pissing in their own mouths. Examples of all of the aforementioned can be found with a simple Google search.

Rugby league is a shitty knock-off of rugby union, which in itself is a shitty knock-off of soccer, which is also shit. The sport is audaciously referred to as “football” or “footy” by cousin-fucking Queenslanders, and some New South Welshmen, who seemingly forget (or do not know) what the “R” stands for in NRL. NRL fans are also mostly unaware of the complete irrelevance of their “sport” anywhere south of Sydney.

The average NRL crowd barely surpasses A-League crowds, likely due to the fact that anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together watches Australian (read: real) Football. NRL “stadiums” are often just local sporting grounds with camping chairs set up on the boundaries, where the parents of the players sit, provided they are not off drinking, shooting meth, or that the players even know who their parents are.

Welfare-Bludger: “*Unintelligible grunting* CARN BUNNIES! *unintelligible grunting*”
Feral Bogan: “*Incest noises* MMMAARGH KNOCK AWWN REF! *dog rape noises*”

Real Australian #1: “I was talking about the Grand Final, then this poofter buts in and starts talking about NRL!”
Real Australian #2: “Fucking league fags. Don’t they know no one watches their shitty comp?”
Real Australian #1: “Fuck Oath. Just nuke the Northeast seaboard for fuck’s sake. It’d do everyone a favour.”
League Fag: *Beats wife*

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