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Mountain Football

A fart contest. Rules vary from region to region, but the goal is to outfart your opponent(s). Best played in groups, so everyone can vote on various fart attributes such as tone quality, attack, release, aromatic quality, and whether it sounds like a particular animal or vocalization. Dutch-ovening your opponents is an automatic disqualification; crop-dusting is encouraged for extra entertainment.

Vic: Those baked beans were delicious, babe.
Sue: Yep, they sure were. Hope you're limbered up and ready for some Mountain Football tonight.
Vic: *frrrrrp??*
Sue: AHAHAHAAAA, you're ahead of me! That one went up at the end and sounded kind of like a question. I award six points and the extra conversion point for style.

by YuliaTheWitch June 4, 2024