Napsent

When someone doesn't show up (is absent) like they were supposed to because they decided to take "a quick nap" earlier. They are still sleeping.

"Where's Wes? He was supposed to bring the stuff!"

"Bruh, you should know better than to depend on Wes for anything. You know he's always napsent when you need him."

callin’offscopy

A totally valid reason for not coming to work. Meant to resemble a colonoscopy.

Wes “couldn’t” make it in today. He has an emergency callin’offscopy scheduled.

Frozen Barnacle

When a person sneaks under the blankets to latch onto their significant other to drain the warmth from them.

Nothing puts the ol' spark back into the relationship like some frozen barnacle time with the Mrs.