Shrek is love Shrek is life

Shrek Is Love Shrek is Life.

I was only 9 years old I loved shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
I pray to shrek every night before bed thanking him for the life I've been given.
Shrek is love I say, Shrek is life
My dad overhears me and calls me a faggot
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek
I called him a cunt
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
Im crying now, and my face hurts
I lay in bed and its really cold
A warmth is moving towards me.
I feel something touch me
Its shrek
I am so happy
He whispers in to ear "this is my swamp
He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me on my hands and knees
I'm ready
I spread my ass cheeks for Shrek
He penetrates my butthole
It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek
I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
I push against his force
I want to please Shrek
He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
My dad walks in
Shrek looks him straight in the eye and says "Its all ogre now"
Shrek leaves through my window

Shrek is love Shrek is life.

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Siri

Siri is a personal assistant that will answer just about anything— developed by Apple Inc.

you could ask so many things, like...
*Where's the next McDonald's?
*What movies are on tonight?
*How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

I talk to Siri a lot just to see what she says. I sometimes wonder if there's someone behind a screen responding to everything I say.

Me- "Siri, are you a virgin?"

Siri- "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't answer that."

Me- "I knew it! You slut!"

Siri- "Language!"

Me- "Uh... hello, welcome to the twenty-first century, Siri."

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Dub step

A mixture of random noises and the occasional random word. Generally listened to by ten year-olds who think they're cool.

Example: Dub step is like wop wop wop wop wop pussy wop wop wop wop wop

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